Delicious

As you may recall, it is customary in our office to bring back local delicacies from one's holidays. This time there is no getting away from the fact that - with apologies to the vegetarians, vegans, Muslims, Jews, people with weak teeth (or teeth they care about), allergies to monosodium glutamate, or indeed functioning tastebuds - it has to be pork scratchings. Only in the Black Country when requesting pork scratchings in a pub are you offered the choice of 'hard or soft?'

Because I went a-searching for Black Country delicacies that I might be able to rustle up instead, and the best I could come up with was faggots with grey peas, and groaty dick. Which frankly sounds more like a cautionary tale from a fire and brimstone Southern Baptist than a tasty menu.